Why does my husband get defensive when I express my feelings?
If your partner gets defensive when you tell him how you feel it could mean he lacks emotional maturity, has a hard time being vulnerable, or simply thinks you’re attacking or blaming him for your feelings. It can be incredibly draining if he always gets defensive when you try and express your feelings.
How do you deal with a defensive spouse?
7 Tips To Deal With a Defensive Partner
- First, release tension in your body. We pick up visual cues about each other often before anyone speaks.
- Find somewhere you can talk facing each other. Our eyes are very powerful in regulating each other’s nervous systems.
- Start by speaking gently with each other.
What does it mean when a man is defensive?
Someone on the defensive is concerned with justifying their actions or words. They have a defensive attitude as they try to protect themselves. If you know that to defend is to protect, you have an idea what defensive means. When a person is acting defensive, they’re trying to protect or justify themselves.
Why does a man get defensive?
People react defensively because they anticipate or perceive a threat in their environment, not usually because they’re just wanting to be difficult. Unfortunately, defensive behavior creates a reciprocal cycle.
Why is my husband so defensive about everything?
Your husband is most likely getting defensive because: He feels like you’re blaming him for his feelings. You want him to fix it and he doesn’t know how to. He has some other story spinning in his head about what it means that you feel this way.
Why is my spouse always defensive?
We get it: Defensiveness is a gut reaction to feeling alone or unfairly attacked or criticized. However, having that defensiveness be a default sends a message to your partner that their feelings don’t matter. So many of us get defensive because it’s a learned behavior — and one that’s very hard to fight.
Why does my husband always get defensive?
How do you talk to a defensive partner?
When communicating your feelings:
- Stick to the facts.
- Use “I” statements.
- Do not mirror the defensive person’s anger.
- Raise your hand up towards the other person with an open palm, to signal stop.
- Repeat yourself.
- Physically remove yourself.
How do you respond to defensiveness?
Here are several steps that can help you become more emotionally intelligent when dealing with defensive people:
- Refrain from reacting defensively.
- Shift your focus to the other person.
- Ask questions until you understand them.
- Move toward a resolution.
How do I communicate with a defensive husband?
How do I live with a defensive husband?
Key points
- When sharing your feelings with a defensive partner, consider using “I” statements, staying calm, and repeating yourself as needed.
- A moment of closeness with your partner may be a good time to share your experience of their defensiveness with them.